I found my soul on the pacific coast

Arrival
I came to the edge of the Pacific with no plan, a wanted yet forced pull west brought me here—my husband was in the navy and our orders landed us in this beautiful place. Though we aimed for this, it was a place unknown and only images I had created in my own mind existed.

The air here was dry but crisp, something I wasn’t used to as a Florida native. Much like my hometown, however, the west coast air, too, was heavy with salt, and the oceanic horizon endless. The waves there met me with a force I had never known—wild, unrelenting, alive. It was here I found a silence and direction that steadied me.

Immersion
Once settled, I often found myself walking the shores, cliffs and mountain trails, collecting fragments of shell and stone, letting the ocean and stone carve its rhythm into me. There was a great stillness here—in the crash of waves, a mirror for my own hidden depths—and atop the highest peaks, a new and free perspective of this beautiful place I now called home. I felt both fragile and strong all at once.

With all of this new beauty, my passion flame for creating was reignited. The light here was somehow different. My desire to capture the way I saw things was too strong to ignore—my love for photography came back. The vast opportunity that is the west offered so much for me to see. So much for me to learn. So much for me to remember. In that abundance, I began living dreams I once only whispered—animal care, photography, art, design. From this inspiration, I began creating myself anew

It was here that Kaila with the gold hoops was born. Carefree, joyful and unafraid. Silly how a tipsy afternoon with beautiful people and a simple pair of earrings awakened a woman that I had kept tucked in for far too long. This new Kaila felt true to herself—wild, feminine, confident and unbroken—a reflection of what the Pacific was teaching me.

As I came home to myself I also strengthened my bond to love of my life. Apart from our families we were all each other had. Building a new life afar brought us closer than ever before. This new home made us resilient, filled us with laughter and encouraged us to discover more. And discovered more we did, welcoming life’s greatest joy into our world—our first child.

Becoming a mother reshaped my soul once again. It grounded me. Expanded me. Frightened me. Gave me new meaning. On days I felt myself slip away, her existence pulled me back—reminding me to stay true, to be the example she would one day need.

Integration
The Pacific humbled me in a way I had never known. She made me feel small, not diminished, but whole—like she remembered me and was glad I had returned to her. Her tides carried away my sorrows and offered me softer, truer. She had been holding this missing piece of my soul all along. Though I now find myself back east, the Pacific ignited a rhythm in me. I have never—and will never—be the same.